on His love

I've been learning a lot.

I began this year with the resolution that I would get my study-life back on track, that I would go to the gym and most important of all: pursue a good relationship with God.

The first one, so far, is going okay, I guess. It could be better. The second one is pretty good, actually. I kinda like working out and sweating and having that feeling of accomplishment once I stumble out of the gym with my legs feeling like jello and arms like rubber. Smelling like sweat is not a plus though!

And the last one. I'm really, really happy with the way the last one is going.

Here's the thing. God has always been the one who was chasing us in the first place, and it was always up to us to run after Him. God is always speaking, always showing us things, always comforting us, but it's a matter of whether we pay attention to the fact that He is.

I think this was something I never really thought about until lately. For me, a relationship with God was always about putting in effort to make time for Him, trying to find Him, crying out, yelling at Him, asking Him why He isn't there. The problem wasn't with Him. It was me.

Just yesterday I went to watch X-Men:Apocalypse. And one of the characters, Jean Grey, has the power of telekinesis, and a perk of this is that she can cause people to not see her. It's not that she has the power of invisibility, but she can alter the mind to ignore the fact that she is there. Kinda like a blind spot in a way. Anyway, this sort of reminds me of a relationship with God can be like with many people. And it's that He's right there, watching us, waiting for us, not because He causes us not to see Him (contrary to Jean's powers) but it's because sometimes we choose not to.

And so, in these past few months, I've been learning to acknowledge God, knowing that He's right there and that I can really, really, really talk to Him when I need to. God has been in the background in my life for a long time, and now I'm learning to take Him out of the shadows, and putting Him right in the centre, because here's the thing:

We've been in His centre for as long as we've been existing. And here's the part that boggles my mind everytime I think about it. There's approximately 7 billion people on Earth right now. And every. Single. One of us is in the centre of God's mind. God is talking to us, thinking about us, interceding for each and every one of us all at once. Isn't that insane? That's how much He cares for us, that's how much He wants us to talk to Him because even when He's gotta watch over billions of people, He pays the same amount of attention to all of us.

Which is why it all comes down to the fact of whether we want to reciprocate that attention, whether we want to return His call, listen, really listen, to what He's gotta say.

I've been speaking to a friend a lot of God's love, and I've been learning a lot from her. She never fails to reiterate the fact that we have to understand God's love before we can truly have a relationship with Him. And this is very hard because God's love is something that is so hard to be understood because it reaches from the depths of the sea right up to the sky and beyond. His love is infinite. His love reaches no bounds, and guess what? It's all for us. It's for us and us and us.

Because we are made from His image, and He formed us in our mother's wombs and He knew of our plans before we even entered the world, and He already knew us. He loves us because we are His.

This is the love that will carry us forward when we have nothing left to give, when we are weak and despondent. This is the love that knows no boundaries, and doesn't care for who we are, what we are, what we've been, and what we will be. This is the love that has given up its everything, was willing to sacrifice His own life so that we could live. This is the love that will continue chasing and chasing and chasing us with no end.

The best part is that His love is already there. It's already going after you. And all you have to do is keep your arms wide open, and your heart ready to receive.

The question is this: will you?

xx.