where ecstasy becomes cavalier

Do you like pineapple tarts? I love 'em. They're like the best thing ever. I supposed you've guessed it. I'm going to rant about pineapple tarts. I hope this doesn't disturb any of you that are somehow allergic to pineapples or lactose intolerant. AHAHA. Pineapples FTW.

I'm not sure if they have pineapple tarts from where ever you are now, but I'll just briefly describe what they are.

Pineapple Tarts

What: A very awesome snack for whenever one is starving. (Or just hungry.)
They are made of..?: Tangy pineapple jam covered in a delicate, flaky buttery pastry. (Hungry yet?)
Are they healthy?: I guess the pineapple part is...

That is basically what they are. AHAHA.
Have you never tried pineapple tarts? You really are missing out. (No offense to the "pineapple-intolerant" or the "lactose-allergic". Does that make sense?) I mean, they are like the awesomest things on Earth. (Besides Owl City. And unicorns) You know what? I want you to imagine this. Pineapple. And cake. Mixed together. BOOM. Something that tastes a little like pineapple tarts. But I suppose you've roughly gotten the point. (Right?)

Also, I'd like to address my love for unicorns. I've recently received an email that stated my love for unicorns. Unfortunately, this person fully opposed their (and by their I mean the unicorns) awesomeness and indirectly said that I should probably withdraw. Of course, unicorns are definitely not real (I repeat, NOT REAL) but is there really a problem to admire their magical-ness? Now, for those of you who have not the dangest idea of what unicorns are, I shall describe them

Unicorns

What: The unicorn is a legendary animal from European folklore that resembles a white horse with a large, pointed, spiraling horn projecting from its forehead, and sometimes a goat's beard and cloven hooves.
Originate, where do they? (I went all Yoda on that.) : First mentioned by the ancient Greeks, it became the most important imaginary animal of the Middle Ages and Renaissance. 
What do they do?: In the encyclopedias its horn was said to have the power to render poisoned water potable and to heal sickness. Until the 19th century, belief in unicorns was widespread among historians, alchemists, writers, poets, naturalists, physicians, and theologians.

There you go. Well, I hope that my unicorn-love-thing doesn't disturb you or anything. My job here is done.

KTHXBYE