Today was really nice, despite the fact that I had to miss church for Poetry Slam, but it was super worth it. Anyway, I woke up at like around 8 AM, but went back to sleep for two more hours because Saturday. Yeah, so. I went to the Paradox Cafe, where the Slam would be held, and lemme tell you something. The Cafe is sooooo coool. Like seriously. It's so modern and hip, and just, rad. Right, so I was really, really nervous because I hadn't practised, or memorized all the poems. I'd only done one poem, but the other twopoems, were abandoned. I mean, I finished writing all of them (and by them, I mean the poems), but I only cared about one. So yeah, I was a wreck. And guess what, I was MC-ing for a category. Okay, there were three categories, Rhythmic, Lyrical and Narrative. I was taking care of Rhythmic. Which wasn't so bad actually.
Since I'm too lazy to explain how everything went, well, it went well, actually. Ann, and Shawn, Becky and Aunty JP who were all there because Ian was competing too, were all really, really supportive, and that really helped ALOT. Also, there was this other guy named Chin Ho who was really nice throughout the entire thing. He was competing too, by the way. Yeah, I'm just really happy that it went very smoothly.
Okay I need to specify a few things, The Paradox's food is really, really good. Like, amazing. And their fudge brownies are perfect. They're just, amazing. Yes, and gosh, I really love poems now. I don't know what else to say about them, I just, love them. Yes. Anyway, so after everyone had presented their poems, and the judges were calculating their scores, Chin Ho came over to me and said, "Hey, you know, you're in first place." And I didn't wanna believe him, because I didn't think I did that good. But he kept nodding and was all, "But you are!" and he was being super positive about it. And deep inside I felt all fuzzy, being he was so persistent about me being first place. Oh, but guess what. It was true. I got first place for the Slam and I couldn't believe it. Out of all the participants, I got first place! REALLY I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT. Sigh. :)
You know I'm just really humbled by this. People would actually think that I write and present good stuff. Still crying happy tears inside. Still am.
SIGHHHHHHH.
Yeah, alright. Now for the less-than-happy part of the post that will forever and always exist. Hahaha.
I'm worried again.
Sometimes I'm just really scared of being judged by people. Especially then ones I go to school with. I don't know. Before school, it'd been a year of learning at home without actual classmates, and I don't know, I think it made me forget how school is. It made me forget how school comes with the entire package, with people that judge you, and teachers and basically everything is kinda like a blow in the face, I mean, it has been a year. I mean, I really like my school right now, it just feels different. Different in both a good and bad way. I guess my mom did warn me of this, and I waved it of telling her it'll be fine. I mean, I really do like my school, but sometimes, I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could go back to schooling at home. I really do miss that.
So I know you guys have been hearing a lot about this friend that I'd been talking to lately. And well, I'm worried about him again. He tweeted something about crying himself to sleep, and I really wanted to ask if we was doing okay. (well, obviously not) He hasn't been online much lately either, too. I know it's not my business or anything, I just really wanna be a friend to him.
Yeah, so I guess that's it. I'm sorry I had to end on such a depressing note, but to be honest, I'm actually having a pretty rad weekend. Also, tomorrow, I'll be going to Nick Vujicic's talk! I'm sure you've heard of him, that man without limbs, but he still lives as normally as he can. Which is really cool, and he's speaking at church tomorrow! Mom's making me and my sisters wake up early so we can get a good parking space. So yeah, I'm really looking forward to that. :)
xx
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