Hello.
So I'm feeling kind of inspired to write something right now. Like a short short story.
Here goes:
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I've never really stood out. I've always blended in. A wallflower, they call it. But a wallflower is different from what I am. It's hard to notice me, since I've always avoided having to mix with other life forms. Or maybe other life forms have always avoided having to mix with me. Either way, it doesn't matter. Talking to other people has never really interested me. I don't really know why. Maybe I'm scared of being judged, but then again, I probably always am.
I'm pretty normal with a tinge of less-than-average. Or maybe it's the other way round. I wouldn't say it's hard being me, I'd really rather go with saying it's different being me. I'm one of those people who don't own a pair of denim skinny jeans or tank tops or crop cuts or whatever. I don't even know how I know what they're called. Slightly ashamed of that. I most definitely do not by all means like make up. The stuff scares me. I do remember though, back in 3rd grade, when my class was performing in a play. I was assigned the part of a fairy princess, and it was a disaster. I refused to be dressed in a large poofy gown that looked as though it had been bathed in glitter, washed in glitter, and dried in glitter. I also refused to get one bit of make up on my face.
I'd kick and scream, basically frightening the poor make up artist, and yelling that I did not want to be the fairy princess. Luckily for the play's sake, my role was changed to an ever-so-glamorous bush. They replaced me with a girl called Lauren Winslet. Who I saw was decked in layer after thick layer of bright -and get this- glittery make up. It's no surprise that Lauren is part of that group of "popular" girls that strut about the crowded school hallways living the high school dream. Oh wait, she's not part of the group, she leads it.
Anyhow, I've given up on the music they play on the radio these days and I'm always seen with my nose buried deep inside a book. If mixing with others is something I can't do, being a total anti-social is something that I most definitely can. However, I'm not an ignorant person. I like observing. A lot. I like observing people. Or animals. Or weather. Basically everything. You know, I'm the kind of person everyone calls a "weirdo". But I don't mind, really. Because well, it's true.
Sometimes, though, I find it very difficult being that girl who wears straight cut jeans and T-shirts with names of bands that nobody knows. That girl who always has a paperback novel in the grasp of her hands. That girl who doesn't own a single pair of heels or ballet flats. That girl who ties her hair back in a neat ponytail. Is this what people call "being yourself"? If being yourself is what's encouraged, then why are we judged for being the people we are. Or maybe, we're not who we are. Maybe, our true selves are waiting to be revealed in some revolutionary way. Maybe we're just shaping ourselves in the narrow, rigid way everyone wants us to. And maybe we're only just preventing ourselves from being the person we really are.
Maybe we're scared of that person, the one we call, Myself.
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Yeah so yeah. I've not written an actual anything in a while so this is kind of bad-ish, but I hope you liked it kinda. I kinda like things that make you think. So yeah. Maybe I'll do more of these when I have the time, yeah?
xx
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