if the bombs go off the sun will still be shining

Hello there.
As you might've noticed, this post's title is a song lyric! Owl City FTW. Anyway. I've been an emotional wreck these past three weeks. I'm not going to rant. Or I might. See how it goes. But I want to keep this short as possible, because what I'm going to write here is a long, sad, complicated story. Yay.

Everyone has feelings. Even me, unfortunately. And lately for the past 3 or 4 months I've been successful at not having any feelings for any other human being whatsoever. The bad sad to this is that it's made me very vulnerable to nice gestures made by other people and whatnot. So about two or three weeks ago, a male being who shall not be named (let's call him... HIM for now.) started being really nice to me and everything, and that's when my feelings said, "Hey, can we come out and torture you to the brink of you breaking down? We're bored." and that's exactly what they did. It's not just that. HE started being really nice to me for the next two weeks and I became a confused, emotional being.

To put something straight, I am not used to guys being nice to me and all that. So when a guy starts being nice to me, it's a pretty big deal. The thing was, I thought that HE actually liked me. I mean, I did some research (yes, I did research) and it seemed that all of the things he did to and for me where signs that he could've liked me. I mean, he touched my shoulder, my arm, teased me, all that stuff. And well, you know. Feels. But, just like the many other times, another girl comes in. Again, she will not be named. SHE and HIM started talking to each other a lot, and it was pretty obvious that SHE like HIM. but HE was still being all nice to me, and I got even more confused at this point. During this period, I considered moving on (yes, by this time I had what people call, a "crush"). I tried and failed. He was still being touchy and nice, and even started telling puns.

What happened this week ensured my moving on. On Tuesday, I talked to him online and asked him why he was being so nice to me. And then he explained that he felt bad for not being nice to me. And at this point, I was sure he was telling the truth, because that's what he told my friend, too. (she asked him the same question.) So I decided that the process of forgetting him had to start. Then at school, THEY continued talking, laughing, sitting with each other. And now I started to actually feel hurt. Cause I felt like I'd been led on and then suddenly left to rot. (okay, not necessarily, but you get the point.) ALSO, PLEASE REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING IS MORE DETAILED BUT I'M JUST SPEEDING THINGS UP BECAUSE I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.

It basically all lead to this: in the end SHE gave him cookies and he posted a photo of them online and used it as his cover photo. And you can pretty much tell that they're both into each other and you can also pretty much tell how not okay I am right now.

But please, please, don't think I'm selfish or anything because I am not. I'm happy for both of them, but I'm also hurt. Mostly cause I thought I had a chance at something, but I was so, so wrong. But I'll be alright eventually.

So that is basically it.